diymy Chapter 41, It's you! Is it you?
Chapter 41, It's you! Is it you?
September 12, Huairou Film and Television Base.
Today's scene is the most important one since the start of filming "Brotherhood of Blades".
Warm Fragrance Pavilion: Return from Prison - The Truth Revealed.
Gao Huan arrived at the studio early in the morning, changed into his costume, and sat on a folding chair in the rest area.
He was dressed in dark casual clothes today, a black short jacket, and had a knife at his waist.
The clothes had been distressed, and there were several dark stains on the cuffs and hem—those were "blood."
"If someone is killed in the imperial prison, they can never return unscathed."
This is what he told the costume and prop master yesterday.
Liu Shishi arrived a little later than him.
When she came out of the dressing room, Gao Huan looked up at her and paused for a moment.
She wore a moon-white ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress), with a thin veil draped over it, her hair loosely tied up, and all her hairpins and ornaments removed.
She wore almost no makeup on her face, except for a darker treatment around her eyes, which made them look emptier and more tired.
She looked like she had just emerged from a nightmare.
"Does it look good?" Liu Shishi walked over, her tone casual, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.
Gao Huan looked at it for two seconds and said, "It feels right."
Liu Shishi was taken aback: "What do you mean by 'right'?"
"Zhou Miaotong should dress like this."
Liu Shishi didn't ask any more questions. She sat down next to him, picked up the script, and flipped through a couple of pages.
Actually, she didn't need to look anymore. She had flipped through those pages no less than two hundred times, and the lines were already etched into her mind.
But she kept flipping over, as if using this action to build a wall for herself.
Lu Yang peeked out from behind the monitor: "Ready? Let's try to get this one in three takes."
Gao Huan stood up and straightened his collar.
Liu Shishi also stood up. The two looked at each other without saying a word, and walked into the photography studio one after the other.
The photography studio was set up with a private room from Nuanxiangge.
Carved wooden windows, gauze curtains, canopy bed, pear wood square table, candlesticks, and thin carpet on blue brick floor.
The light was a warm yellow, like candlelight.
The props team set up a rain system outside the window. The sound of rain pattered in, and the cold wind blew in through the window cracks, making the temperature inside the shed even lower than outside.
Gao Huan walked to the door and stood still.
Liu Shishi sat on the edge of the bed, with her back to him.
Lu Yang shouted "Start".
The sound of rain came from all directions.
Gao Huan pushed open the door slowly, hesitant and exhausted.
He stood at the doorway, slightly bowed, head down, not daring to look in the direction of the bed.
His dark casual clothes were stained with dark stains, and a few strands of his hair fell down, covering half of his eyebrows.
Liu Shishi sat on the edge of the bed, her shoulders trembling slightly.
This is her physical reaction in the role.
Zhou Miaotong waited a long time, waiting for a result, waiting for him to come back, waiting for an answer she both wanted to know and was afraid to know.
The camera zoomed in on her face.
She slowly raised her head, her eyes red-rimmed, tears clinging to the corners of her eyes without falling.
She looked at the person at the door, her eyes filled with many things: resentment, fear, grievance, and an expectation that she herself couldn't distinguish and shouldn't have.
"You...you killed him."
His voice was trembling, low and hoarse, as if it were being squeezed out from the deepest part of his throat.
Gao Huan slowly raised his eyes, his eyes filled with weariness and a hint of helplessness.
"He's already ruined." His voice was very soft, as if afraid of disturbing something. "He begged me to finish him off."
Liu Shishi gripped the hem of her clothes tightly, her knuckles turning white. Tears streamed down her face; her body reacted before her mind could process them.
She stood up, instinctively took a step back, and clasped her hands in front of her chest, protecting her heart.
"Do you know?" Her voice trembled, every word trembling, "I remember it all. When I was twelve... the Imperial Guards ransacked my house. The person who arrested my father... was you."
Gao Huan stood at the door, motionless.
But when the camera zoomed in on his face, you could see his jaw tighten slightly; it was the action of clenching his back teeth, his body's instinctive reaction to the "truth."
Liu Shishi continued to retreat until she reached a corner where she had nowhere left to go.
She looked up and gazed in his direction.
Those unfocused eyes were filled with tears, but those eyes were invisible.
The blind girl's character becomes the sharpest knife at this moment—she cannot see his expression, cannot see his pain; she can only judge his location by sound.
"I'm afraid of you," she said, her voice trembling. "For all these years, I've been afraid of you."
Gao Huan's Adam's apple bobbed.
"I hate your flying fish robe... and that embroidered spring knife."
Liu Shishi's voice changed from a shrill cry to a sob, a wail that was the kind of cry that had been suppressed for too many years and could no longer be contained:
"The first time I saw you, I was afraid of you. I'll never forget the day the Zhou family's property was confiscated..."
She paused, leaning against the wall like a bamboo stalk bent by the wind.
"These days, I don't know whether I should be grateful to you... or hate you."
When she finished speaking, she seemed completely drained.
Tears were streaming down her face, but her expression was blank, as if she had been crying for so long that the connection between her tear ducts and her heart had snapped.
"Are you still going to take me with you, Lord Shen?"
Gao Huan stood there, his face already pale.
His lips were trembling, but no sound came out.
The camera cuts from his face to his hands, which are clenched into fists at his sides, knuckles white, veins bulging, before slowly relaxing.
Lu Yang held his breath behind the monitor.
The memories of the past are a wall between the two of them.
Young Shen Lian, dressed in a flying fish robe, stood expressionless in the Zhou family's living room.
Behind him were the Imperial Guards, and in front of him was Zhou's father being dragged away.
When he was on official duty, his eyes were cold and devoid of personal emotions.
But in the eyes of the little girl hiding in the crack of the closet, that face and that flying fish suit were the devil.
Gao Huan felt weak all over and subconsciously reached for his waist, but he found nothing.
The embroidered spring knife that had always supported him now resembled a blood-stained guillotine.
His hand froze in mid-air, like a bird that couldn't find a place to land.
……
Lu Yang did not call "cut".
The studio was so quiet that only the sound of rain could be heard.
Liu Shishi leaned against the wall, slowly slid down to sit on the ground, buried her face in her knees, and her shoulders trembled.
Crying without sound is more painful than crying with sound.
Gao Huan stood there, looking at her.
His expression remained unchanged, but his eyes were empty.
He thought he was atoning for his sins, but he was sin itself.
He thought he was her salvation, but he turned out to be the source of her nightmares.
Lu Yang finally called "Cut".
The sound was soft, as if afraid of disturbing something.
The lights in the studio came back on, the staff began moving the cameras, and the prop master came in to adjust the position of the candlesticks.
Liu Shishi was still sitting on the ground, not getting up. Her assistant ran over and handed her a tissue, which she took, covering her face, her shoulders still trembling.
Gao Huan walked over and squatted down next to her.
"Your rhythm was great just now," he said.
Liu Shishi raised her head, her eyes were red-rimmed, and tears still clung to her eyelashes.
She looked at Gao Huan, her eyes still red, as if she hadn't completely come out of Zhou Miaotong's body.
"It's because you took good care of her." Her voice was still a little hoarse.
Gao Huan didn't reply, but reached out and pulled her along.
Liu Shishi used the momentum to stand up, and after regaining her balance, she let go of her hands and bent down to straighten her skirt.
Lu Yang walked out from behind the monitor, his expression a complex mix of "wanting to say a lot but not knowing where to begin."
"Both of you, you nailed this in one take. I don't even know who to praise."
"Then praise them all," Gao Huan said.
Lu Yang glanced at him, smiled, and then turned to Liu Shishi: "Shishi, that pause you made just now when you said, 'I don't know whether to be grateful to you or hate you,' was it not in the script? Did you add it yourself?"
Liu Shishi nodded.
"I think at that moment, Zhou Miaotong didn't just hate him; she genuinely couldn't tell the difference."
He saved her and protected her, but he also ruined her life.
This feeling isn't simple hatred; it's a complex mix of emotions.
She's been struggling with this for so many years, and she's still struggling with it now.
Lu Yang was silent for two seconds, then nodded.
"Your understanding is correct."
Gao Huan remained silent.
Liu Shishi knew that her performance just now was not only an understanding of the character, but also her own.
During the break, Gao Huan sat on a folding chair in the rest area, unscrewed the thermos, and took a sip of goji berry and polygonatum tea.
Liu Shishi came out of the dressing room, changed into her costume, but did not remove her makeup.
She walked over and sat down in the chair next to him.
Neither of them spoke.
Inside the studio, staff were adjusting the lights, and occasionally someone would shout, their voice echoing in the empty space.
After a moment of silence, Liu Shishi spoke.
"Gao Huan."
"Um."
"Your girlfriend... is it Gulnazar?"
Gao Huan put the thermos aside and leaned back in his chair.
"Yes."
Liu Shishi tapped her knee lightly with her fingers; the movement was so subtle, it seemed almost unconscious.
"But she won't be like that for long either."
Liu Shishi turned her head to look at him, her eyes filled with complex emotions.
She suppressed her surprise, or rather, she thought she did, but Gao Huan could see it.
Her pupils dilated slightly before quickly returning to normal, and her lips twitched as if she wanted to laugh but held it back.
"Why?" Her tone was as calm as possible, but the last syllable of the word "why" rose slightly.
Gao Huan glanced at her, his tone as casual as if he were saying that the weather was nice today.
"I'm tired of it. Nazha isn't very obedient; she doesn't exercise regularly, she just diets. I've told her many times, but she doesn't listen, so I'm not going to say anything more."
Liu Shishi's fingers stopped.
She looked at Gao Huan, her expression changing from "probing" to "confirmation," and then from "confirmation" to something else entirely.
Disappointment and surprise are a kind of relief of "I finally know" and a kind of self-blame of "Why am I relieved?"
Two emotions mingled together, alternating on her face like ripples spreading outwards on the water.
"You're a real jerk," she said softly.
Gao Huan looked at her, and the corners of his mouth curled up slightly.
"I think so too."
Liu Shishi didn't say anything more.
She stood up and walked back to the studio. Her steps were quicker than usual, her high heels clicking rapidly on the floor.
After filming the second day, Liu Shishi was in even better shape than on the 25th.
By the time we finished filming the last take, it was already dark.
Gao Huan returned to the hotel, took a shower, changed into clean clothes, and sat down at his desk.
He took a brown paper envelope out of his bag, pulled out a stack of A4 papers, and the cover had the words "The Nameless" printed on it.
This is a movie script he's been writing (or copying) recently.
Dark humor, absurdity, tells the story of how two low-level robbers and a sharp-tongued woman in a wheelchair become entangled by a series of coincidences.
The script has been revised several times, but I just can't seem to find the right feeling for the ending of the third act.
He picked up a pen, wrote two lines of dialogue on the paper, crossed them out, wrote two more lines, and crossed them out again.
My phone vibrated.
He glanced at it; the contact name was Liu Shishi.
I accepted it.
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone, then Liu Shishi's voice came through, not loud, but very clear.
"Gao Huan."
"Um."
"What you said yesterday...was it true?"
Gao Huan leaned back in his chair and put down his pen.
"Which ones?"
"You're tired of talking about breaking up with Nazha; it's just because she was disobedient."
There was silence on the other end of the phone, as if she was waiting for his answer, or as if she was hesitating whether to continue asking.
"Of course it's fake," Gao Huan said.
Liu Shishi was silent for a few seconds, then said something that surprised Gao Huan.
"So you're lying to me?"
Gao Huan thought for a moment.
"It's not a lie. I'm just tired of him, and he might be disobedient at times, but I haven't decided to break up yet."
A soft laugh came from the other end of the phone, not a happy laugh, but a bitter laugh of "I knew it."
"Gao Huan."
"Um."
"Are you a jerk or not?"
This question is very direct, without any probing or hints; it's simple and straightforward, just wanting an answer.
Gao Huan didn't answer immediately. He picked up a pen and wrote a few words on the paper, a passage from the song "The Actor," the lyric that had suddenly come to mind.
Then he spoke.
What do you think?
Liu Shishi did not answer.
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long time, so long that Gao Huan thought she had hung up.
"I don't know," she said.
The sound was very soft, as if it came from a very far place.
"But I don't think I... dislike you."
The phone hangs up.
Gao Huan put his phone on the table and looked at the line of text on the paper.
What he wrote was—"
Keep it simple
Keep your speech simple
Please omit the progressive emotions.
You're not an actor.
Don't design those kinds of plots.
He stared at the line of text for a few seconds, then laughed mockingly at himself.
He picked up his pen and continued writing.
The wind outside was strong, making the curtains billow.
In December in Beijing, the light is still on in this room, and the pen is still scratching on the paper.
The phone stopped ringing.
But Gao Huan knew that some things were different.
Liu Shishi herself.
The way she looks at him on set lately is no longer simply the way Zhou Miaotong looks at Shen Lian.
She was a woman who had fallen for a man, and she was looking at a man she shouldn't have fallen for.
Gao Huan put down his pen and leaned back in his chair.
When she asked me today, "Are you a jerk or not?", her tone wasn't one of condemnation, but of confirmation.
She wasn't looking for the answer; she was confirming her judgment—she judged him to be him, and then she didn't run away.
This is enough.
Gao Huan turned off the desk lamp, lay on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.
Light from outside leaked through the gaps in the curtains, drawing a thin white line on the ceiling.
He closed his eyes.
In my mind, I pictured Liu Shishi on set yesterday: dressed plainly with no makeup, sitting on the ground against the wall, her face buried in her knees, her shoulders shaking.
It's beautiful, with a sense of brokenness, which makes this scumbag have a strong desire to destroy.