diymy Chapter 40 Father! Don't shake it!
Chapter 40 Father! Don't shake it!
Chapter 40 Father! Don't shake it!
"How embarrassing!"
Little Sizi, rubbing her cheeks and laughing carefree, exclaimed, "Big Sister's hiccups sound like a frog's croak!"
"Li Mingda!"
Li Lizhi gritted her teeth and pinched her younger sister's face.
Little Sizi nimbly hid behind Su Mu, clutching her half-full glass of water tightly: "I'm not wrong! I'm just like a toad! Ribbit, ribbit!"
Su Mu placed his large hand on Xiao Sizi's head, ruffling the hair that he had painstakingly combed.
"Alright, stop messing around. This stuff is called 'Fat宅快乐水' (a type of sugary drink), it's specially made to cure unhappiness."
"Fat otaku—about to fall into the water?"
Little Sizi struggled to pronounce the strange name, tilted her head to look at Su Mu, then at herself, and asked, "Will drinking this make me fat?"
She looked down and pinched the soft flesh on her stomach, looking somewhat worried.
"No, that's just baby fat, it's cute."
Su Mu, without any qualms, bluffed, "This water helps with digestion and will make you grow taller."
Upon hearing that he would grow taller, Little Si immediately took another big gulp, even deliberately opening his mouth to wait for a burp.
"Hiccup~!"
Another sound.
The little girl clapped her hands with joy.
Looking at the two scoundrels, one big and one small, Li Lizhi felt a little ashamed, but the cool sensation she felt made her feel less ashamed.
She picked up the cup again, this time without any airs, and sipped it slowly, enjoying the sensation of the bubbles bursting on her tongue.
"Is there any of this left?"
After finishing the last sip, Li Lizhi looked at the still bubbling iron pot with a hint of lingering satisfaction.
She thought of her father, the emperor, who was still in the Lizheng Hall reviewing memorials.
On such a hot day, although there is ice in the Liangyi Palace, Father Emperor has an impatient temper and gets easily irritated. If he could drink a sip of this, although the burping would be a bit unrefined, the comfort would be undeniable.
"There's plenty more in this pot."
Su Mu pointed, "What, are you going to take everything down with you again?"
Li Lizhi blushed.
"Don't carry the pot."
She pulled a silk handkerchief from her bosom and wiped her mouth. "Just fill this bamboo tube. Father has been suffering from the heat these past few days, and his temper is volatile; he won't even listen to Lord Wei's advice. If this water can truly cool him down—"
Su Mu stood up and took the bamboo tube that Li Lizhi had brought.
"OK."
He scooped up a bucket, added a few pieces of crushed ice, and finally sprinkled some baking soda on top.
seal.
"Don't shake this thing."
Su Mu handed over the bamboo tube, specifically instructing, "There's gas inside. If you shake it too much, it might spray your dad's face when you open it. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Li Lizhi took the bamboo tube and felt its weight in her hand. She heard a faint rustling sound coming from inside, as if a tube full of little elves were trapped inside.
"I've got it."
Li Lizhi nodded solemnly. "So what should it be called? We can't exactly tell Father Emperor it's called—'Fat Otaku's Happy Water,' can we?"
That sounds awful.
Moreover, Father Emperor wasn't fat—at most, he was robust.
Su Mu thought for a moment.
In this era, you need a grand and impressive name to impress people, especially someone as concerned with appearances as Li Shimin.
"Let's call it — Black Jade Intermittent Dew."
Su Mu casually made up a story: "It cures emotional distress, cuts off worries, and restores happiness."
"Black Jade—Intermittent Dew?" Li Lizhi murmured to herself, finding the name somewhat strange but catchy and with a touch of江湖 (jianghu, the martial arts world) spirit.
"Great name!" Little Sizi clapped beside her. "Intermittent Dew! Drinking it will make you hiccup intermittently!"
Li Lizhi rolled her eyes at her younger sister, annoyed. This girl really knew how to bring up the most awkward topics.
Lizheng Hall.
Li Shimin slammed a memorial in his hand onto the table.
"Outrageous! The governor of Henan province is praying for rain, and he actually wants me to issue an edict of self-reproach?"
Li Shimin's chest heaved with anger, his face flushed red. "What does it matter to me if it doesn't rain? Do you think I can control the Dragon King?"
Wang Dequan huddled in the corner, not daring to breathe.
These past few days have been hot, and His Majesty's temper has been getting worse every day.
Wei Zheng just came by again, saying that the people are suffering and Your Majesty shouldn't use so much ice, which made Li Shimin so angry that he almost overturned the table on the spot.
-
"It's so hot! Why is it so hot in this hall!" Li Shimin tugged at his collar, pacing back and forth irritably. "Go get two more basins of ice!"
"Your Majesty, there's very little ice left in the ice cellar," Wang Dequan whispered a reminder.
Li Shimin was even angrier upon hearing this and was about to lash out.
Two heads peeked in through the doorway.
"Ah Ye————"
Little Sizi's soft, sweet voice came through, tinged with a hint of caution.
Upon seeing his beloved daughter, Li Shimin's anger instantly subsided by seven-tenths, and he forced a smile: "It's Sizi! Why aren't you resting in the inner palace? Why are you here getting all hot?"
Li Lizhi led her younger sister in, holding a bamboo tube in her hands.
"Father, I have obtained a miraculous item to relieve summer heat, and I have come to present it to you." Li Lizhi bowed respectfully.
"A divine object?" Li Shimin's interest was piqued, his gaze falling on the bamboo tube. "Could it be—made by a master?"
These past few days he's been extremely sensitive to the word "expert." The terrible mutton he ate last time left him seething with anger, and he was just looking for an outlet for his frustration.
"Exactly."
Li Lizhi placed the bamboo tube on the table. "This is called Black Jade Intermittent Dew. It is the best for cooling and relieving summer heat."
"Is the black jade partially exposed?"
Li Shimin raised an eyebrow.
The name sounds a bit like a liniment for sprains and bruises sold in pharmacies.
He picked up the bamboo tube with suspicion.
It feels cool to the touch, and there's a slight vibration inside.
Li Shimin was about to pull out the stopper.
"Father, be careful!"
Remembering Su Mu's instructions, Li Lizhi quickly reminded him, "This water—it's potent, don't shake it, or it might spray out."
Li Shimin paused, looked at his eldest daughter, and then at his youngest daughter who looked expectant.
Fiery temper?
How strong can this bamboo tube of water be? I have ridden the fiercest horses and killed the most ruthless enemies, why would I be afraid of this bamboo tube of water?
"Hmph, just making a fuss over nothing."
Li Shimin didn't believe in superstitions. Instead of handling it gently, he subconsciously twirled the bamboo tube in his hand twice and shook it.
Pfft—!
The moment he pulled out the cork.
A jet of black water, accompanied by white foam, erupted from the bamboo tube like a long-awaited volcanic eruption!
It rushed straight toward Li Shimin's majestic face.
"puff!"
Li Shimin had no time to dodge and was sprayed directly at the source.
Black liquid smeared his face, dripping down his beard and staining the front of his dragon robe. The strange smell of caramel and herbs instantly filled the air.
The main hall was deathly silent.
Wang Dequan's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and his mouth was agape enough to fit an egg.
Li Lizhi closed her eyes in despair.
Oh no, that flash just now, that was a black fire lightning bolt!
Little Sizi blinked and looked at his father, whose face was covered in black water, with admiration.
"Wow! Dad's amazing! Dad can spray water too!"
Li Shimin wiped his face, tasting the slightly sweet and sour flavor on his lips, and feeling a slight, tingling pain on his skin, like being pricked by needles.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the bamboo tube in his hand, which was still bubbling with white foam.
This is—the Black Jade Intermittent Dew?
This is clearly the Black Jade Soul-Severing Powder!
"This is... this is the master you were talking about?" Li Shimin licked his lips, his voice low and unreadable.
That strange taste spread in my mouth.
It wasn't as disgusting as I had imagined.
On the contrary, after that moment of shock, the skin on my face felt a long-lost coolness from the impact of the icy liquid.
"This is----"
Li Shimin did not get angry.
He stared at the bamboo tube, and as if possessed, he raised it, tilted his head back, and poured a mouthful of foam into his mouth.
Gum!
The bubble burst.
Cool!
"belch!!!"
A loud bang.
Li Shimin froze.
That voice—was coming from my mouth?
But the next second, the stuffiness that had been building up in his chest for days miraculously dissipated with that long burp!
"Excellent! What a beautiful intermittent dew!"
Li Shimin, his face covered in sugar water, suddenly burst into laughter, his eyes gleaming with fervor.
"That's potent! This is what a man should drink! A hundred times better than that lukewarm tea!"
Li Lizhi: "————"
Father, where is your majesty? Where is your imperial image?
This black water—could it really have some kind of magical power to make people lose their minds?
Seeing this, the little ox also laughed foolishly, clapping its little hands: "Father has turned into a big toad! Father is croaking too!"
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