Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 9: A Major Search of the Imperial Kitchen, Li Shimin's Unyielding Spirit

The lights in Ganlu Palace were not turned off for long last night.

Li Shimin's bamboo tube was long gone; he even poured some warm water into it and drank it clean.

The taste is gone, but the longing for it grows wildly in my heart like weeds.

As soon as the morning court session ended, he slammed the bamboo tube onto the imperial desk, staring at Wang Dequan kneeling below with dark circles under his eyes.

"Still no results?"

Wang Dequan's forehead was pressed against the floor tiles, and beads of sweat dripped down his nose, soaking a small patch of the carpet.

He dared not raise his head and could only bite the bullet and reply, "Your Majesty, this servant had the people in the imperial kitchen try it overnight. They tried brewing tea with goat's milk, adding sugar, adding... adding that burnt flavor, they tried everything."

"And the result?"

"result……"

Wang Dequan's throat was dry. "The things they make are either terribly fishy or so bitter they're inedible. They're worlds apart from the cheese we usually drink, let alone the stuff in this bamboo tube."

Li Shimin sneered and tapped his knuckles on the table.

"A bunch of useless trash! You can't even replicate a folk remedy. What use are you to me?"

He stood up, put his hands behind his back, and paced around the hall twice.

The bamboo tube was finely crafted with smooth cuts, clearly newly made. This indicated that the person hadn't gone far, and might even be lurking in some corner of the palace.

"This person is definitely still in the palace."

Li Shimin paused, his gaze sharp. "Yesterday, Sizi said he picked it up by the roadside, but I doubt it. What would such a young child know about picking things up or not? Most likely, the person was nearby."

Wang Dequan's heart skipped a beat: "Your Majesty means... that master is still hiding in the imperial kitchen?"

"Where else could he get ingredients to squander besides there?"

Li Shimin flicked his sleeves and said, "Go! Take your men and turn the imperial kitchen upside down! Even if you have to pry up the floor tiles, dig out this expert who can make sweet soup! Remember, don't make a fuss, don't scare the expert."

……

The imperial kitchen was instantly thrown into chaos.

Wang Dequan led a group of eunuchs carrying wooden sticks and ropes, completely surrounding the front and back courtyards.

The imperial chefs who were preparing lunch in the front hall were herded together like ducks, their faces ashen.

"Listen up, everyone!"

Wang Dequan was truly anxious; his voice was hoarse from shouting, "Stop everything you're doing! Interrogate them one by one! Has anyone seen a stranger these past two days? Has anyone smelled that... that caramel-scented milky aroma?"

The imperial chefs looked at each other, shaking their heads vigorously.

"Innocent, Steward! We're busy all day attending to the needs of our esteemed guests; we have no time to smell anything like caramel!"

"Exactly! Goat's milk has a really strong, fishy smell. We avoid it like the plague, who would bother cooking it?"

Wang Dequan kicked over the nearby slop bucket, splattering filth all over the ground: "Still dare to talk back? Search! If there's no one like that in the front yard, then go to the back yard! Don't miss even the rat holes!"

The search team stormed into the backyard.

The atmosphere in the woodshed in the backyard, however, was strangely peaceful.

Su Mu had already heard the commotion ahead.

He shoved the freshly cleaned earthenware pot deep into the woodpile, then grabbed a handful of black soot from the bottom of the pot and smeared it haphazardly on his face.

Her originally delicate features were instantly ruined, leaving only her bright white teeth as a noticeable feature.

He tore open his already tattered linen clothes, revealing his dark skin underneath, then squatted down and picked up the chipped machete.

"Snap!"

The log split open with a sound.

His wood-chopping posture was extremely standard; each stroke was delivered with even force, sending wood chips flying. Apart from his face being a bit too dark, he looked like an honest, hardworking laborer.

A series of hurried footsteps came from outside the door.

"Is anyone inside? Get out here!"

Su Mu didn't stop what he was doing until several eunuchs rushed in. Only then did he pretend to be startled, and his wood-chopping knife clattered to the ground. He then instinctively shrank back onto the pile of firewood, trembling like a leaf.

"Gentlemen... gentlemen, I... I'm just a woodcutter, I haven't... I haven't been slacking off."

Su Mu buried his head in his knees, his voice trembling, revealing a rustic air of someone who had never seen the world.

The leading eunuch was a monkey-faced man with a pointed mouth. He pinched his nose and fanned away the wood chips and dust floating in front of him, looking disgusted.

He held a riding whip in his hand and gestured at Su Mu a couple of times.

"Lift your head up!"

Su Mu slowly raised his head. His face was as black as if he had just crawled out of a coal mine. His eyes were dull and frightened, and there were some suspicious wood chips hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Oh my god!"

The eunuch was so disgusted by the sight that he took a step back. "Where did this charcoal-faced guy come from? How did the imperial kitchen end up hiring such a thing?"

"Replying to...Replying to the eunuch, I am a handyman who was just hired a few days ago, and my job is to chop hard firewood."

Su Mu grinned, his teeth so white they were almost blinding. "Does Father-in-law need firewood? We're good at it, no charge."

"Pah! Who wants to chop wood!"

The eunuch spat impatiently, "Tell me, have you seen any strange people these past two days? Cleanly dressed, or... carrying bamboo tubes, pottery jars, or anything like that?"

Su Mu blinked, looking completely bewildered. "Strange people? No...no one. It's just me, the woodcutter, and the rest are rats. Oh, by the way, yesterday a big black rat stole half a steamed bun from us. Is that strange?"

The eunuch was so angry he wanted to slap someone.

What an idiot!

"Can you smell anything? Milky? Sweet?"

Su Mu sniffed, took a couple of deep sniffs, and then pointed to the swill vat in the corner: "That smells pretty strong, doesn't it?"

The eunuch almost vomited.

The swill vat was full of rotten vegetable leaves, and the stench was overwhelming.

"Damn it! Let's go, let's go! What kind of master could be hiding in this lousy place? His Majesty must be out of his mind." The head eunuch cursed and turned to leave.

Just then.

From the innermost part of the woodpile, behind the neatly stacked logs, a very faint sound suddenly came.

"Click!"

It felt like stepping on a dead branch.

The head eunuch's ears perked up, and he whirled around, his eyes instantly turning sinister: "Who's there? Show yourself!"

Su Mu's heart tightened.

broken!

He was so focused on his own performance that he forgot there was a little devil hiding behind the woodpile.

Little Sizi snuck over again early this morning, insisting on eating those bouncy meatballs. Before Su Mu could make them, the search team arrived, so he could only stuff her into a gap in the woodpile for the time being.

If this gets out, not only will she be finished, but for a princess to hide in the servants' quarters is a capital offense!

Su Mu gripped the handle of his machete tightly, pondering whether he should knock these guys unconscious before running away if they dared to use force.

Sudden.

A tiny head popped out from the top of the woodpile.

Her two little pigtails were messy, with a few withered grasses still hanging on them. There was a streak of dust on her little face, but it couldn't hide the liveliness in her big, black grape-like eyes.

"I...I saw it!"

The voice was childish and slightly lisping, which seemed particularly out of place in the tense atmosphere.

The eunuchs were stunned.

Where did this wild child come from?